What are you looking at me like that for ?
It’s not like this whole world consults me about who they want to marry ?
I wish I could just fall in love one time, with one person and never fall out of love.., ever..,
I hate how my poetry is full of questions and unresolved mystery,
It’s tough enough having to be a saint with all of my weaknesses,
But should I always deal with a broken heart ?
I sometimes wish I got shot so that this madness could end,
No matter how hard I try I can’t see into the invisible chamber of men’s hearts,
No matter how mature I get, the longings of her hurt the growth inside,
I wish that I had never, ever been born.., ever..,
Softness doesn’t deserve a world as hard and stony as this,
I just had to fix her as my forever didn’t I ?
I deserve this for all my reckless longings,
Nothing hurts more than unreturned love,
It’s like the soul wrecked the heart and the heart just can’t fathom the rejection of the blow to the gut,
Perhaps if she had downright wrecked my soul with a simple rejection that would’ve been nice, but I guess I’m not even that important to be taken into serious consideration that she just moved on like I am not that important.., wow.., that blow to my ego is out of this world, I wonder if I can ever recover from this..?
Sad thing is that I know that I will recover, after all such broken moments are designed by the Lord so that I will stay closer to Him,
I don’t want to be hurt like this.., never.., ever.., I want to live in a place where I can desire God alone.., this lonely path through this world where what we love becomes another’s is not for me,
People who comfort me tell me that girls sometimes do this, one moment they are all so personally close and then the next moment they block you and pretend to act like nothing existed between the both of you,
That they erase you.., I thought that you were redemption, I, never for a moment realized that you were my most painful lesson,
This is just bitter.., but so sweetly sad to my melancholic core,
I don’t want you for real, I rather prefer being alone,
But I want you, because you bring to life what was dead within me,
I am angry at you, you didn’t reply for years,
You don’t see how your lies and rejection have been hurting me ?
But I see what you’ve done with your life, I always knew that you would shine bright just like the stars on a utterly dark broken night,
You cut me deep, you did it purposely,
I’ve been in love with you, or rather the thought or dream of you for five , darn years now..,
Sure I guess you’ve met some other dashing young gun more suited to your fine tastes,
You don’t see how our life is supposed to be ?
My bad, I wish I could shut up, believe me I’ve been doing that for 5 long years now,
Guess secrets break#


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