A silly infatuation – A short Poem

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I’m reaching out for a hand that I can’t see,
I’m tired of waiting in the dark.
Why am I waiting here..? Expecting you to show up…?
I am surprised to say this,
But I sincerely having nothing to say,
Okay, I am technically talking to myself,
I have not let you know,
I have not said anything to you because I know the
answer, I know how these things work,
I am quite an expert at the one sided variety of romantic delusion.
Whenever I take an attempt,
I find emptiness greet me, I find eyes and hearts not meant to see me
treat my fucking life devouring passion like cold tea,
For once in my life I want someone who truly needs me,
I am tired of staring into invisible walls and unseen thoughts preoccupied with people other than me,
I seriously want to stop wasting my time,
You have taken all the strength from my soul,
but I find that you are gone, I am here only chasing a version of you created by me,
So I guess it’s time to switch off the light to this favorite hobby of mine,
because you are breaking me just a little every time I feel something for you, or think about you, or think without strings attached of having you in my life,
It’s a sad thing that I have loved you with every bit of my heart, but to you I am nothing but someone so desperate that he is not ashamed of being embarrassed by it,
Well so I guess this is goodbye, because I find every reason to feel inspired by you,
every stray thought of you is treated by me as a voice from the universe telling me to
get with you,
But I am then forced to realize that it is but a lousy, reckless dream,
Nobody puts their hearts on the line anymore, people choose comfortable versions to spend the rest of their lives with, I guess so have you,
So I am closing this door with pain, Dear infatuation,
Take care of her, I don’t want to see her live her life,
because I wouldn’t be able to handle it,
I am moving on with denial and repression, so thank you
and Goodbye.

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The Drifter and his unfinished love- Part One ( Short Story)

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“Moon river, wider than a mile
I’m crossin’ you in style some day
Old dream maker, you heartbreaker
Wherever you’re goin’, I’m goin’ your way
Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end, waitin’ ’round the bend
My huckleberry friend, Moon River, and me”
– Breakfast at Tiffany’s

They were meant to meet.., they really were. He was supposed to meet her at a railway station as he was about to give up his hopes of ever making it as a novelist of life as it expresses itself in a humid city by the sweaty sea that he had spent 8 years in, she was supposed to bump into him at the end of a bittersweet college love affair that had rapidly gone sour.

They were meant to be in each other’s way, their hearts were meant to impact, their eyes were to meet and defenses were to slide and blur, they had already met…, years before in another grand design of divine will…, She had been a young blogger, spunky, dreamy and creative who spent her time blogging about gardening and independent music bands… He was the artist slowly learning to expose his soul to an audience through disoriented prose and emotional poetry. She did not know what she wanted out of her life, it felt too confusing… India was full of uncertainty, bureaucracy and political maneuvering.., Her heart would need to be compressed into a social conformist label that would make her accessible to workplaces, colleges and friendships, where her soul could find a relatable way of appealing to other people and their interests…, She felt that he was just another boy that had appeared on her radar. He would leave and somebody else would turn up, she had enough time, Her Prince charming would be a whole lot more fun, attractive and dreamier than Dreamer boy.. Her candidate was going to take her all over the world…, He was going to be perfect in her Instagram pictures … and He was going to treat her like a princess… Sheesh she had time.., she was only 22 after all.

She saw the buzzing industrial brain of her college, she saw the hyper-emotional young adults blooming around, she saw the freedom, the life and assumed that real life had to contain all such emotions…, but she had a troubled heart deep inside too, something that nobody ever seemed to understand.., Growing up, she had been thrust into a foreign state, her native tongue which came from the southern parts of India brought interest from human sharks and bullies interested in the pain of others… They teased her and opened the door of inner insecurity. But she was a happy person, it came from her Father.. He had had a sunny disposition, a trait that he had passed on to his daughter… she overcame the lowly punks, and other academia oriented obstacles and shined as bright as a star atop a Christmas tree. She excelled in everything that she came across, her parents had taught her to love God and she clung to Him as He powered her through strife and turmoil.

She had been dismissive of him instantly. She had come across a few of his confessions, a few of his short stories.. They were combustible, spontaneous material written with a lot of soul, heart and power, they energized her and made her see him as someone that she could get along with. If she was honest to herself, she found his charm quite attractive. But she did not want to lose her control, she felt connected to herself by purposeful work , But she was used to making plans, and then allowing her plans to consume her which proceeded to bury her inside some rock solid shell, impervious of the outer world whose insides was full of intense work and purpose…. He on the other hand did not know what he was going to do with his gift.

She allowed defensive assumptions to offer herself clarity, these type of romeos were a dime a dozen, they were shady, cunning charming savants interested in the attainment of one thing, and one thing only. Sex!!

Her parents had raised her a lot better than that, she was not going to fall for his tricks, he could be Fyodor Dostoevsky with his thoughts, but she had the last word on everything.

But time and time again, he surprised her. He seemed very willing to be tremendously honest with her. He spoke to her about his own failed relationship, a nightmarish experience that had had him in a relationship with someone who was engaged to somebody else. She could not ever imagine herself doing something as stupid as that, but she appreciated his effort at remaining completely honest with her.., She got the feeling that he would be honest with just about every soul on this planet.., Good, greedy, cunning and wicked… She liked that about him, even though she dismissed everything else.

The person had been his friend, and had fallen for him, she had confessed it to him one night as he was telling her stories by watching the stars.., But immediately after doing so she wept bitterly as she spoke to him of her reality. Seeing her tears, his compassionate heart had moved him to tell her that she did not need to worry, He was in love with her too. Thus began a turmoil and strife filled affair where she took all his love, but remained steadfast in her decision to marry her fiance, which only broke the young dreamer’s heart of happy endings and problem solving. People chose gritty, dark solutions since they were all selfish for their wants, but rarely to the needs of others.

He also told her about how God had saved him from taking his own life at the guilt, shame and pain of it all. He was using this blog to share comforting words it seemed. He always spoke to her about his love for Jesus, His passion for sharing his testimony, His compassionate heart wanted to help the poor, the sick and the suffering. He was different, he was not interested in attracting her, he would rather not have her than do something completely dishonest and cunning in obtaining her… but she could see that he liked her. They were both from different worlds, he was born with his heart on the outside, her heart meanwhile was so far within that she had to search for it in colors, in the strangely exhilarating sequences of movie frames overlooking room windows, and in accidents.

Destiny was drawing them both closer and closer.., but strangely they were being pulled apart by their own indecisive minds, full of directions that were not meant for their destiny. She wanted the comfort and the sophistication of Europe, America and France which is technically in Europe. He wanted to make everybody happy, he enjoyed making people smile, he enjoyed bringing joy to broken hearts and lost souls.., He was a Healer.., a rare commodity in a world as dense and artificial as this.

Now the Dreamer… He was a drifter…, a lost soul.., a dreamer stuck in the real world.. A mermaid who belonged in the underwater world of creativity, dreams, sighs, fancies, visions and intuition… His family were real good to him. They really were, but they never could see into his deep deep heart, he seemed to belong in another world,His inner world was too beautiful for the world to see much less comprehend… He was a rare flower, blooming far away from human eyes. His ways despite knowing the weight of this world’s smears seemed pure and innocent.., His eyes watched the skies finding soulful power from taking in Royal Eagles circling invisible atmospheric turfs miles away from the ground…, His heart absorbed each sight of the world with intense emotion and despair… he always saw with aching eyes and a deeply hurt soul… He desired to see new things but he was weighed heavily with the burden of what was never going to change…He knew things that others could not see.., He understood what pain, poverty, sin and emptiness meant…, He felt the deep lifeless void arouse unbearable questions that arose like ghoulish specters He sensed hurt below endless rows of lifeless homes.. He sensed the overwhelming complexity beneath each human life just buzzing with energy streaming within endless channels of thought, emotion and action… He had too big a heart for a world as cold as this… For a world so insensitive to sight, touch and feel…. But for all his gifts that he so severely despised as empty smoke, he longed for a heart that was fierce yet kind in that intoxicating drop of femininity that only his dreamer heart could concoct and desire. He longed each day since his heart was made to express God’s love in it’s purest form, he longed more and more each day for someone who would end his romantic drought once and for all.

He did not know where he was going or know what he was going to be, he only knew that he wished to serve his God… to him life was a mystery… he rarely ever saw himself, his soul was constructed in such a manner as to build complex mansions and realms based on the purely depleting sights of utter, carnal, earthly, gravity bound banality … His heart belonged to the outer world, to the world that his heart bled as it entered bit by bit, inch by inch, mile by mile, street by street into inner worlds of woods that were mystic symbols lost in time, into dense forests that were metaphors and soulful signs and into night skies full of shivering, diamond stars that were each nightly dreams. The more the outer world invaded his rich, inner world.., The more he suffered… The more intense was his pain. He longed more and more each day for Heaven.. But he saw his flesh struggling with sinful traps that he had allowed out of errors controlling him more and more. He did not know how long he could survive this world and it’s inability to connect to him and his lonesome heart.

His heart felt more and more pained as he neared the end of his single life. He was 27 years old, pressures were turning up by the dozen.. Families took on an interest when the drifter drifted about in-between divine service and evangelism… He had lost all hope. He had met his dream girl through his words, but it had not been enough…she was a butterfly who flitted about oblivious to his fiery inner heart.., she had her own fierce heart and will. He had to accept the inevitable and appreciate the turbulence that heartbreak often bought, he prayed often about it wondering if she was his to desire… He had not gained certainty through all the years of his life, all he had gained was loss, pain and hopelessness. But the more he saw his life, the more it felt like he was being separated from something that was meant to come towards him. His meeting had been brief, but had left an indelible mark… a mark that had become dreams.. fanciful longings and wishful thinking. He could not think of anybody else.. But he feared offending His Lord and God.., Was he doing the right thing..?

She was a rock solid lighthouse on the other hand. But she was tired of putting up a brave front on the outside whilst her doubts were growing more and more tense each day, why did she feel compelled to visit Madras over and over …? Why did her life with all its happiness still feel empty…? Incomplete..? Dissatisfying…?

Useless infatuations – A Short Story( Imaginary)

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I stared at the TV screen.

I am not falling for her again.., She is taken.. She is taken…!!

Plus He is perfect and they are like totally into each other.. and plus it’s a sin..,It must be… I don’t trust myself.. I’ve done this way too often.. Isn’t this supposed to be along the lines of Adultery..? Technically Adultery is an exchange of bodily fluids or a wish for such an experience… Even thinking about it made it wrong.., Grrr, Although this is similar.., this is more along the lines of longing for someone and being blind to everything else.

Couldn’t I just keep this personal feeling all to myself..? And let it either die inside or subside when it wants to..? I am done battling this for a year now…, I am supposed to be more grounded, realistic and mature now… Help me Lord… Err Lord… Where are you..? I’m having a mini breakdown..! Help!!

The guy at the counter was occupied in the world of delivery calls, his own personal spirit partaking in all of the continual rush of demands, he was absorbed terrifically in his own mundane existence, his face was putting up a facial counter that displayed the varied streams of his conflicting emotions and turbulent feelings. I felt a little bit self conscious, I was being taken in.. I had to put on a show to establish my presence…or something of that nature… I didn’t have any decent clothes in my Dad’s apartment…, None of my favorites anyway.. None of my rugged, loose jeans or the unbearably striped, half cut, half sleeved shirts that accentuated my presence in a way that was socially acceptable… I only had clothing paraphernalia related to basketball… a couple of Nike sweat shirts, Loads of shorts and jerseys of my basketball heroes was all that I had…, Luckily I had one of my old t shirts… I threw that on me and had revved up my malnourished bike in order to reach Domino’s .. I wanted some pizza.. Sure I was from a middle class family that dangled between the socially conscious echelons of upper society and the meddling, vicious gripping middle class and her disturbias, I was whoever I wished to be.., I was not doing this for the hip, acceptance of mainstream City folks… I wanted Pizzas, and not because they were made in Italy and baked with an assortment of fine spices… I am a food junkie, I love, enjoy and devour Food.., I was going to marry a fabulous cook one day mark my words, I was going to propose to her over Bruno Mars ‘Marry You’…, and then teach her to dougie, and live happily ever after over hot, spicy Indian food.

Domino’s charged an obscene sum for taste, an average meal would cost me anywhere between 50-60 bucks, but now I had to shell out ten times that amount for what they convinced me was normal… Corporate Thieves .., I hated how brands were so expensive and cocky about it too.. Like you couldn’t ask anything back from them…, The customer was a clueless participant in a bossy game of manipulation and deception…Anyway to more earthly matters… The skies were cloudy… It had rained for hours, and ruined all of my chances of playing basketball… I hate it when that happens.. I just had a day of play left now…, and then I would be sucked into the world of adulthood and it’s irritating, impersonal demands… I gritted my teeth.. I could not exactly do anything about it, I just had to accept it as something that I can’t change for the here and now, and pretend that it does not hurt. Passion is such a curse sometimes.

It had been a few years since I had worn my Green T shirt, it stretched against my 28 year old body, becoming tinier against my body frame… I looked like a philosophical thug.. At least that’s what I thought or would like to assume… I always wander around in my head with favorite labels that I enjoy and put on, choosing from one like choosing from vinyl records..,and occupying one whenever I encountered the people of the world’s surface, chiefly because I was both an occupant and a rebel of the human existence plan, while I was going to be here.. I was going to do things my way… I have many personality sub cultures within, they are all as varied as my fine tastes…. The Weeping, Alienated Artist who viewed emotional dysfunction as the source of artistic inspiration,…. The Melancholic Philosopher who used scenes from windows and street sidewalks to create hymns and ballads of the undermined human spirit,…. The Hurt and Lonely Poet who still dwelt on heartbreaks from the age of 22 onwards, The Obscure Loner who felt the sheer cry of his immortal soul as it lived beneath the cosmic universe and amidst billions of blind souls ,The Tiger metaphor from Jorge Luis Borges’ Poem- I have a tiger inside of me, The Master of Shadows in a world of gleaming lights, The Colorful Wallflower who gleaned important clues during conversations for his own personal social commentary and sermons, The Sinful Saint who was locked in a deadly battle between the great heights of Heaven and the dismal depths of Hell, The Warm selfless disciple of Christ who enjoyed the company of simpletons and non believers.., The talkative, and compassionate friend of Humanity and her unbearable woes, The Dark Knight whose mission was to protect and serve, The Unknown Hero who was willing to risk his life for strangers, The Fierce Warrior who refused to give up on his dreams, his visions and his freedom, The Meditative Fighter who accepted his mortality and it’s serious limitations, An Eagle that soared in the highest heavens and gathered power to live the Christian life, A black panther running across tree limbs in a magical forest of mazes and labyrinths, the Ever Awakened Writer who had to write in order to feel sane , The Eternal Thinker discovering clues in the wide spectacle of life to the important truths that offer pure refreshment and joy to the human spirit, The Christly Dreamer who held and hosted conversations all the time with characters from my own life …, I needed characters when I encountered people.. Or else I would lack the clarity and the emotional disposition necessary for people and their engrained, conditioned ideas of what normal is all about,…. Or else I would feel left out… in all sorts and varieties of intensities, I was too deep.. The only world that made sense to me was my own.. But I have a calling higher than my own comforts, my own thoughts of pleasure and greater than my own personal greatness.

I was too spiritual about life, I probed beneath everything, breaking away the structure…and discovering what is truly important..I enjoyed the world below. The World of personal feelings, thoughts, ideas, stories.. The Symbolic world of the Abstract, the deep connection that we have to events, messages and Godly things…, I have asked God many times…, Help me hear people’s thoughts.., I want to be You without the Powers.. Yeah, “the motive behind each intention behind the inception” type… I guess I don’t realize the seriousness of what I am asking for… I can’t bear the teeny weeny evil in my corner of the world without being upset, broken and destroyed for days… I am too intense that I am like a walking self destructive nuclear bomb.

There is something deeper about this life, I can’t deal with reality’s insomnia, . Masks, Facades, Lies and Performances did not inspire me, I needed Christ to survive all this terrific, meaningless mess of an existence.. He is like a drug… even though I do a terrifically pathetic job of following Him and being like Him in my life…, I am just a rectified ex addict of the world and her glories.

I was nursing a dying infatuation, I was actively trying to get it out of my system.., I can’t deal with such complications now.. I am 28.., I am not that young, impulsive wild child that I was once upon a time…I am a semi preacher slash Shepherd, preaching on television.., And a decoder of what Faith means to us as a people.., How could I feel such an intensity for someone who was seriously a thousand miles away from me and had no desire or attraction towards me…? Didn’t she have somebody in her life already…? That automatically increased the guilt just a little bit…Wasn’t attraction supposed to be mutual..? I had spoken to the Lord about it.., I had been praying for a life partner for quite a while now … Well Sort of.. . My prayers for healing, families and the divine stilling of clouds and their attraction to geographical locations that I find myself in are powerful, strong.. without any room for doubt.. Bring talk about my future marital situation and I am left with doubts and contemplation.. Marriage is overrated in my opinion, and also the only way to have a meaningful relationship with another person.., I wonder if I even want marriage..! 95 percent of my classmates have fallen down, I am one of the few who has braved past the age of 27… the past two years of singleness were trying as I attempted to find or rather still down my haphazard romantic energies down and shift my focus on things that really mattered, like Evangelism, Servant-hood, Submission to the Lord, Service, Mentoring and Apologetics…, I long wonder how I had not fallen into some serious, awkward and one sided infatuation yet.., Wala my prayers or rather my own self proclaimed prophecies became fulfilled.., For two strong years, I bypassed silly romantic thoughts.., Dismissing them with ease.., I had enough scars from either a direct rejection or an indirect rejection to last a lifetime.., I didn’t want more Drama.., ‘I would like to find somebody trouble free now’ I thought to myself…. And then she came back.., halting all of my moral powers and stripping me of my strength, casually demolishing every bit of my defenses and resilience in the subject matter. I was a counselor who warned kids of the dangers of falling for the girl who was never into you for crying out loud.., and I am left in a situation where I am afraid to try for fear of moral failure, and afraid to give up in case there is some semblance of a chance . Kudos to you Lucifer, you know how to find the chinks in my armor don’t ya..?

I put in a word to my Heavenly Father every now and then.., wondering if I even wanted what I was asking for.., I mean the Judgment of the World is pretty close..,… Plagues.. Famines.. Earthquakes.. Groanings and the preparation of the world to come…, The Apocalypse could arrive any second now… , A one world government..? Military rule..? The Antichrist ..? The Second coming of Christ could happen anytime soon.., What about Persecution in India, it’s getting pretty intense right..? What if I were to die a Martyr for the sake of Christ..? What if I chose to remain celibate as an act of complete submission..? I’m seriously wondering if I want to get married just because I know I will do something pretty stupid and damaging if given a chance, despite my spiritual calling, platform and blessings… Once a fool, always a fool..! I have lived in holy fear for the past two years, choosing to live as a spiritual monk… free of the desires that pollute and conquer.

“But like Lord, I was strong for so long right..? I mean I honored you with my thoughts, I stayed true to you.. I overcame so many situations of lustfulness, attraction, temptations, possibilities.. I tried my best to be true to You.. You know that I have.. but this silly one sided infatuation is so stressful for me right now Father.. I mean can’t you please just kill it..? I know that Pain is the price for feeling love, but like you stilled Tsunami sized waves in the middle of an ocean by just a show of Your hands..Please stop this madness within me Lord.., I have not even settled yet.., I mean I am serving You now and stuff… Full time and all.. I’d really like no distractions.. You know how many times I’ve been hurt before.., Please..Stop giving me such a hard time on this issue alone.” I begged inwardly, I thought that I was over this. Please don’t teach me any lessons using this person alone, especially her… Maybe I have developed, intense unhealthy feelings that could be called.. Dare I say it..Love..???!!

After the marriage of two of my major crushes who I hoped were going to be my special someone for life.. i.e., atleast one of them was… I guess it’s time I developed feelings for somebody so that I would not feel so wrecked and ruined whenever somebody that I was once interested in goes AWOL, or taken mysteriously out of the count of this planet’s population…. Kari Jobe married someone with a guitar who proposed near a beach.., I mean seriously.. Come on, give me a break here…, I want a little happy ending or beginning here too..Ya know..?

I had been alone for too long this week…, I didn’t feel that connected to the normal rhythms and conversational cues of everyday folk, the laptop had been a friend…, as had been the concrete playgrounds where the ball hit the floor.., My city friends were a controlled mess.. , they were just either cerebral or too power hungry, and mechanically in a place where it felt normal.., My week is about to run out.., I had to wake up tomorrow and meet with a friend, and then snap some pics in order to fill up my Instagram, and remember each and every part of the city as I sat in my desk and dreamt of my freedom and my bookstore that I was going to open in a few months.

I just needed to calm the fink right now.., I needed a desperate line… I needed to engage the Skinny, determined counter guy who could not have been more than 24 years old, in a way that was suitable to my tastes… He appeared strained, sad about working late into the night.., hurt by the pushy, loud and demanding bunch a few tables away… perhaps he wanted the restaurant alone..? It must have been a pretty long day.., Now what is delivery banter all about….?

I needed a character or else the life of that place, the life of it’s contents, the emotions of it’s inhabitants would occupy me…and become alive, I again began to think of her.. She seems to free me of all social awkwardness… I enjoy the imaginary conversation that I don’t have the courage to have in real life, and which can never happen since because things are never how they appear to be.., I wonder if I am making a mistake by even talking to her in my heart.., I wonder if there are specific laws in the Bible for the heart.., only one harsh verse comes up to greet me… ‘The heart is desperately wicked…, for out of it flows forth all evil deeds…’, I don’t have the ability to accept it’s truth, I wonder if it applies to my context. Maybe it does, opening up to the necessary efforts to clean up sin has never been my strongest suit.. but I got to do it, I don’t want to be caught up in some imaginary web of expended emotions, unrealistic expectations and silly imaginations that led nowhere.

Taking in the melting yellowish flowing, liquilicious floors I tried to still my preparation of the awaiting painfulness that would undoubtedly follow the death of a dream. With the endless efforts of lost hope replay what was not to be, and attempt an explanation even though none is possible.. Life goes by so fast, some get it and some don’t.. The cruelty between such worlds is limitless, I often wonder if the Lord sees the sensitive souls whose hearts are often full of deep fractures, twisted heart sprains, deep and sharp aches and open hurts..? Why do we as a human race long so desperately for love even though it often is full of what is already in our lives..?

I needed to spend sometime alone with the Lord… This was not right.., I mean I was a gentleman.., I may have made some ludicrous life decisions in the past, but I was guided by my feelings.., I did not have Godly intuition within me.., I was just a shy kid…! I was not going to jeopardize other people and their lives, I would rather allow it to die within me.., if I was capable of such heroic acts…, I am so frustrated… How can I develop such feelings for somebody that I’ve never ever met..? I gritted my teeth, I’ve pulled myself out of so many heartaches and rejections, I can do it again.., I say to myself.. But do I have to.., i’d like to become oblivious to the whole game for once.., I am not so keen anymore about putting my vulnerable self out there. I guess I trust the Lord to bring the right person at the right time, I just would love for it to be her.., but I am too wise to know the ways of the world.

I picked up my order after waiting for half an hour.., it was quite busy despite the time of night.., I stared into the wet roads with muddy trails and the hurrying vehicular marvels shooting past me like fallen stars, how splendidly magnificent was the outer world..? Why did I have to search for meaning within murky, emotional depths that offered nothing but pain and turmoil..? Why did I have such a predisposition for gloom, darkness, sadness and self sabotage..? I picked up my bike and kick started it, I was a star, a shining iridescent meteor full of brilliant sparks lighting up the gloomy, darkness of Hell upon this earth..I will find my way out, my God was the God of wonders, infinite power and honor.., Forget my weaknesses, I glory in them…, for they help me see the glorious power of my Savior.

Art the Language of my soul – A Poem

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Art is the language of the soul,
It speaks in symbols,
casting a few fleeting glimpses of
unfathomable realms trapped below the human senses.
When the eyes close glimpses arise and play dramas of what can never be fully perceived.
When I explore what I can’t see, but am moved onward through my heart,
I find myself creating art.. I find my inner fire burning,
I guess my passions are ignited when I look inward,
So I pour out what I seek to discover,
unaware of the presence of the dawn,
and oblivious of the silent curse of the night.
The Dreamer paddles his raft in the waters of the unconscious,
passing by insurmountable depths and inward might,
I find myself staring at mirrors incomplete,
and into incredible depths of what has been truly given to me.
But I can’t stay there for long,
the world demands me, calling me away from my awakened sleep.

Describing the spirit is hard in a realm of material presence,
Our material dependence seems to outweigh our spiritual hunger,
How can I describe the buoyant reflections of godliness at times revealed in me..?
That seem to transcend my own visage, and take me away from the edge of madness..?
I am feeble, weak, too sensitive and broken by my unseen energies,
The Spirit speaks to us in our moments of quiet,
refreshing us with more than feeble full feelings,
Art is the vocabulary of the soul,
that speaks with storms that evade meaning,
that answers back when our wills don’t turn away
when encountering the inner world’s unconscious barrenness,
I refuse to stop dreaming, I am a great spirit,
I am discovering the paths to God’s tents set within me.
Prayer the language of my spirit,
I am a shallow trifle.. , leaning too much on human existence
for meaning, I am taking a chance here to keep on dreaming,
to soar on like a eagle and plunge into the depths revealed
by a Godly touch.
Are dreams messages..? Are dreams live paintings of God’s silent
cries to change our hearts, to turn and move on in the direction of Paradise
as we sleep and dream..?